Dating an inconsistent guy can be frustrating as it can also be an opportunity for you to take a peek into the part of his life that has been hidden.
I get it…no one enjoys being in an unstable aircraft during a flight as the turbulence alone can trigger severe nervous breakdown due to high levels of anxiety.
The same thing goes for an unstable relationship characterized by inconsistency on one part. Since the success of most successful relationships is tied to thoughtful contributions from both sides, a decline from one end can collapse the union without a trace.
Still, looking for what it means when a guy is inconsistent? Search no more, as I’ll be leading you down the path of knowledge in this article, stay with me!
5 Possible Meanings When A Guy Is Inconsistent
From unconscious detachment to external distractions, there are a handful of causal factors that can make a guy inconsistent, especially in an affair with a girl.
If your guy recently started displaying glaring signs of inconsistency or his already present inconsistency just became consistent, your search for what it means is a noble cause and I won’t fail to bring clarity to your doorstep.
I’ve curated 5 distinctive and possible meanings which we can read into the situation where a guy becomes inconsistent.
- It means his emotional intelligence of late is lower than it should be
- It means he has a chronic issue of being indecisive
- It could even be that you’re expecting more from him than you should
- It may point to him being visionless and without purpose
- It also means that he doesn’t find you a worthy match
It means his emotional intelligence of late is lower than it should be
There’s always a place for emotional intelligence in relationships, and when it starts being absent there’s a high chance that one partner would start losing grip of the relationship’s objective.
If a guy suddenly starts being inconsistent over things he shouldn’t be showing such a non-committal attitude towards, then there’s a tendency that he is losing or has lost touch with his emotional intelligence. In severe cases, it could even be that he has none of it at all.
Emotional intelligence encompasses a lot of things which entails knowing when or not to panic, get jealous, ignore red flags, and even deal with issues without sounding barbaric and senseless.
A guy who doesn’t know how all of these or even any of them works is bound to show signs of inconsistency.
Since consistency denotes commitment and interest, it will be difficult for a guy to adjust to the changing dynamics of the relationship if he’s not consistent which accounts for his inconsistency.
It means he has a chronic issue of being indecisive
Inconsistency comes in different shades and not being able to make and stand on one decision is one of those shades. When a guy is inconsistent, it means he has a chronic issue of being indecisive.
Indecisive in the sense that he’s not steady with one lane of thought even after making it known that he has taken such stands.
This type of inconsistency appears in both large decision-making processes and even the littlest of mundane things.
He may need help with maintaining a particular deodorant fragrance or be torn between choosing your relationship with him over going for an unnecessary function.
Although he may have his reasons for eluding keen decisions at the point of need, such reasons only pass for mere excuses if they’re to be examined clearly and without prejudice.
This proves indecisiveness is a viable meaning that we can read into the circumstance where a guy is inconsistent.
It could even be that you’re expecting more from him than you should
Do you realize that what you see as inconsistency on the part of the guy could be his inability to meet up with your demands or better still, your expectations of him?
Yes, the guy may not be ideally inconsistent but may not be putting up to your standards as a girl which made you think he is not consistent.
This may be the case if the guy lives within his budget while you don’t or you like traveling and he’s not of that same idea of detoxing from financial struggles.
Perhaps, he prefers going fish hunting in the lake to the latter activity you’d propose. If this is the case, then what you see as inconsistency in him is a reflection of your disappointment as to his failure to act according to how you expected.
It may point to him being visionless and without purpose
Having purpose and set-aside goals positively affects a man’s life. If these are not present in a man’s life, the chance of him being inconsistent would be high.
This is a viable reason that we can read as meanings when a guy becomes inconsistent.
Again, when a guy is inconsistent it means he is visionless. This is so because for a guy who knows his nosh and what he is about, being inconsistent wouldn’t be an option for him.
At length, you perceive the guy as inconsistent because he just doesn’t seem to have anything figured out as to what he wants to do with his life and if there’s a possible future with you guys together.
It also means that he doesn’t find you a worthy match
While we get carried away with the thought that inconsistency in a guy has to do with his flaws and uncontrollable circumstances, we may be eluding another plausible point.
Here, when a guy is inconsistent with a girl it could be his plot in a small showdown aimed at dropping hints that he doesn’t find the woman as a worthy fit or match.
If he doesn’t find you a worthy match, he won’t put effort into making sure the relationship thrives. You might’ve heard that men always go out of their way to do things for the woman they want or love.
So, if the guy is not being consistent it could be a sign that he is not satisfied with what he has seen so far, or maybe he lost the spark at some point in time.
What Causes Inconsistency In A Person?
Inconsistency is such a worrisome state in a person’s life that proves to be stubborn and disgusting, to say the least.
People suffer from conditions like depression and anxiety syndromes because of this state of mind and productivity.
But what causes a person to become inconsistent? In this part of the post, we’ll be discussing and exploring different causal factors that contribute to inconsistency in a person. These causes include.
- It is caused by an identity Crisis
- Worn out emotional connection and ties
- It could be from the irregularity in the person’s upbringing
- It could result from unsuccessful career pursuit (jaded)
- It often springs from misplaced priorities
It is caused by an identity Crisis
Issues relating to identity crisis can cause a person to be inconsistent. Identity crisis is a term used to depict the point in a person’s life where the person is torn between creating, choosing, and maintaining a particular personality.
He or she is confused religiously, torn between perfecting their singing ability or choosing to study medicine in college.
Anyone who finds himself or herself in such a situation as depicted above s facing an identity crisis and observations have proven that inconsistency is a common thing in the person’s life.
So, if a person is passing through an identity crisis which I also consider a rite of passage, it is only a matter of small time before the person becomes inconsistent.
Worn out emotional connection and ties
Worn-out feelings and detached emotional ties can also cause inconsistency in a person. Usually, in a relationship setting, one partner can become inconsistent if they lose the vibe and spark of the relationship.
Here, it is clear that their inconsistency was built and nurtured because they do not love their partner anymore or as it is now being put “we grew apart from each other”.
Respectfully, when a person losses interest in something or someone, it can account for what caused their inconsistency towards the circumstance in view.
It could be from the irregularity in the person’s upbringing
We grow differently and a major constituent of our qualities while growing up is our upbringing.
This has to do with every contributing factor in a person’s upbringing, from the parental coverage to the environment of abode to the type of food consumed, the media around, and even the types of friends mingled with.
If all of these or a portion of these factors are delinquent, it affects the overall performance of the person even after an outgrowing childhood.
This vacuum left off can grow into a huge attitudinal deficiency resulting in severe cases of inconsistency in the person’s life.
Judging by this, it is obvious that some persons’ show of inconsistency is birthed from the irregularities in the person’s upbringing.
It could result from unsuccessful career pursuit (jaded)
Frustration is a real deal and anything involving intense disappointment can result in inconsistency.
It gets terrible if the person becomes jaded in their field of endeavor which now makes them even more prone to being inconsistent.
Perhaps, the person has had a hard time getting a breakthrough as a salesperson at a car dealership.
Over time, the person gets jaded from failure and consequently experiences severe cases of inconsistency as time goes on.
It often springs from misplaced priorities
Another well-sought-after cause of inconsistency is misplaced priorities. When a person mismanages their priorities, they become inconsistent in some areas and in other areas, they are barely productive.
Over time too, you’ll see the person going inconsistent even in the areas in which he or she has been doing well before.
For instance, a student that prioritizes video games over studies may end up having bad grades and may not also make it as a top player in such a game.
What to Do When Your Guy Is Inconsistent
Haven known what can cause inconsistency in person and what it means for a guy to be inconsistent, it is ideal for you to want to know what to do when your guy is inconsistent.
Nevertheless, I’ll be obliging your inquisition by presenting to you 5 different and non-sequential tips on what to do when a guy is inconsistent.
These include:
- Give him a platform to find closure and confide in you
- Go soft on him at first and become assertive as time goes on
- Explain to him that the relationship is at stake
- Help him work back up and find a purpose for themselves
- Save yourself from external destruction and set up emotional boundaries
Give him a platform to find closure and confide in you
When you discover your boyfriend has a problem with being consistent, you should avail him of an opportunity to find closure in you.
This is because it gives him more comfort to be in your care than outside, thereby making him confident to expose his intra-personal wars with you.
Go soft on him at first and become assertive as time goes on
You should also endeavor to give your guy a soft landing at the first stages of your quest to do something about his inconsistencies.
However, you should learn to switch things up if he fails to avail himself to be saved and counseled.
Make him understand you’re rooting for him but you won’t hesitate to change up on him if he’s not ready to make things work between you two.
Explain to him that the relationship is at stake
While you make efforts to draw him out from being enveloped in self-destruction, you should remind him that the relationship is at stake and that his actions or inactions will further accelerate the collapse of the relationship or ameliorate the problems facing it.
Help him work back up and find a purpose for themselves
Using dialogue and other measures, if you can help him work back up and become purposeful, don’t fail to make it happen.
His recovery largely depends on you provided he’s willing to work the talk with you.
Save yourself from external destruction and set up emotional boundaries
This tip is a safety measure for the sake of your mental health which is why I consciously made it the last on this list.
While you try to save your guy from absolute degradation even with his current state of inconsistency, always remember that you have yourself to blame if you fall into that same pothole.
So, save yourself from external destruction and set up boundaries that’ll act as a shield just in case he is not responsive to help from your angle.
Wrap Up
An inconsistent man is still redeemable but that depends on how receptive he is to help.
This article serves the best purpose in the line of thought concerning what it means for a guy to be inconsistent, its causes, and how to help the person elevate from that stagnation.
Do with the information in this post as you should because I know they’re goldfishes in addressing the issue of inconsistency.
