Why Does He Keep Asking If I Love Him?

In most situations, a guy would keep asking if you love him because he wants to know how you feel about him. If the question is persistent from time to time, it could mean that he is insecure or not courageous enough to say how he’s feeling toward you.

The truth is that there is no straight jacket answer to the reason why a guy would keep asking if you love him as it largely depends on the kind of relationship you have with him, how well that relationship is thriving in recent times, as well as his emotional situation.

When he keeps asking you this question, it has more to do with the type of guy, his confidence, self-esteem, and capability to love himself than it has to do with you.

Here are the common reasons why a guy would keep asking to know whether you love him even when you keep answering or reassuring him:

10 Common Reasons Why A Guy Keeps Asking If You Love Him

Why Does He Keep Asking If I Love Him

You need to first understand that not all guys are as vocal as others at professing their love. I’m not a wizard, so I may not be able to accurately put the right context to your question but here are some good guesses to answer your question are:

1. He is insecure

If he keeps asking if you love him, it may be a sign that he is unsure and unconfident about the relationship. In other words, he is struggling with relationship insecurity.

He may have been nursing a deep belief that he just isn’t good enough for you, that he doesn’t deserve love or one of many other limiting beliefs that cause him to feel anxious and ask the question to be sure from time to time.

This means that he may keep asking to be sure that you love him because he doubts his value and has a low sense of self-worth.

You will realize that this possible reason encapsulates all other reasons discussed in this article because the question he keeps asking may be spurring from a place of jealousy – jealousy of all the other people in your life.

2. Your actions don’t make him feel loved

As against the previous possible reason, another possible meaning why he keeps asking if you love him is that you are not giving the right gestures that make him feel loved the way he loves you.

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Note that this is only peculiar to individuals who have already established they have feelings for each other. So, this may just be a phase in the relationship where the guy feels less in love with you.

This particular period has probably left him feeling lost or doubting the future of the relationship. Of course, he may still ‘love’ you, and still want it to work with you but to him, you are not helping the situation.

If you suspect this to be the case (after examining the series of event that has happened between you two of late), then you need to understand that men want love as badly as women do. But instead of being obvious about it, they keep asking if you love them.

This is the salient time for you both to establish friendship, companionship, and chemistry.

3. He just wants you to reassure him

It could be that he just wants you to reassure him that you still love him, nothing more. You may think there is more to it since he keeps asking now and then, but sometimes, you never wait to tell someone you love them.

Saying “I love you” when hanging up the phone or leaving to go somewhere are examples of ways you can consistently reassure him without making it sound overwhelming.

If he keeps asking if you love him, and you both are in a relationship, then it means something is missing. It can be drawn from the issue of insecurity on his side.

Sometimes, a lack of self-esteem, poor communication, or mental health issues could be the reason why he keeps craving reassurance. This can be dealt with through self-awareness and open communication.

Why Does He Keep Asking If I Love Him

4. You are not making it clear how you feel by your behavior

It is not fair to always make the situation about him and not look inward. If he keeps asking if you love him, it could be that you are not making it clear how you feel by your behavior.

Do you love him? You don’t love him? You will save yourself this stress by expressing through your behavior how you feel about him, even though you don’t want to say it.

If you are confusing him about how you feel toward him, it shouldn’t be surprising that he keeps asking this question.

For instance, today you show romantic gestures, the next day you resent him, the day after you show affection to someone else, and then the following day you act like you are attracted to him. This may be confusing to him.

And, if he is into you, he may keep asking if you love him so that he can be clear on your feelings towards him before saying how he feels about you.

5. You don’t give him any feedback

Especially in a budding relationship, little actions like touching each other casually on the arm or knee, and laughing at each other’s jokes can go a long way in eliminating doubts about the love.

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A guy may be confused and keep asking if you love him when you don’t give him feedback or show cues about whether you like the attention he shows you or not.

If you are into him, you can straight up tell him how you enjoy his attention or company. This is a way to validate the love you have for him so he doesn’t have to always ask.

Actions like showing an interest in what he enjoys, complimenting his looks, making eye contact, and smiling more are perfect ways to give feedback that you enjoy the attention.

When you don’t do these things, he may be struggling to figure out whether you love him or not and would eventually ask you about it.

Perhaps he suspects that you feel anxious without his time or attention, emotionally unavailable, and you keep your guard up. Then, to be sure that you love him as you have probably indicated, he would occasionally ask.

6. You are spending time with other men

Why Does He Keep Asking If I Love Him

There is no right or wrong answer to how much time partners should spend with each other because every couple is different.

However, when the time you both spend together gradually reduces (often as a result of your excuses) the guy may start feeling insecure and periodically as if you love him for reassurance.

If work, school, or other engagements requires you to spend time with other men, the guy in question may begin to feel insecure and ask whether you love him. Even though nothing is going on between you two yet, jealousy will kick in if he’s attracted to you.

Spending time with your partner is essential if the relationship is going to grow and blossom into something much more profound.

If you are spending time with other men, the is now a lack of attention in the relationship which would most likely lead to  losing connection, being insensitive, poor self-esteem and self-worth on the part of any of the parties, lack of intimacy to rejuvenate the love, and even vulnerability to infidelity

So when you both don’t spend enough time together, and you are not being loved by him, it is possible that he starts second-guessing your commitment and would ask, from time to time, if you love him.

7. He senses that you are not happy when you are with him

If he perceives that you are not happy when you are with him, he may keep asking what the matter is by saying “do you love me”

Although his suspicion may not be correct, he won’t know until you address the issue.

In other words, he may keep asking if you love him because he is getting the signal that something is bothering him. If you perceive this to be the situation, the best way out is to sit down with him and ask him what could be the problem.

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Men need attention as much as women do in a relationship. So, by giving him your time, and talking over it, he may reveal exactly what he needs from you that he’s not receiving which could be that you are not emotionally available for him.

8. Conflict in love languages

Why Does He Keep Asking If I Love Him

In your relationship, when a guy keeps asking if you love him, the reason may be that you are not communicating your love in the same love language that he needs to receive it.

If he doesn’t still get the cues that you love him through other expressions, there is going on with him that he needs to work out that has nothing to do with you.

So, if you identify his love language and express your affection through that medium, it may clear all doubts.

9. He’s scared of losing you

Another possible reason why a guy would keep asking if you love him is that he is scared of losing you and wants to be sure that the feeling is still there.

Now, this may even get you angry because it could send the impression that he doesn’t believe you since he asks every time.

But the truth is that each time you assure him, he feels relieved that you do love him.

10. He wants you to say it first

Always asking if you love him may also be a manipulative trick that a guy can use to make sure you are the one who professes the love first.

It is common when a guy is attracted to you but has yet to shoot his shot. He will keep asking if you love him, and once you do, he puts him in a safe position to share his feelings with you.

Many men are conservative when it comes to using the word “love” because it sounds like a word that is burdened with responsibility. To these kinds of guys, when they say they love you, they are admitting their commitment to a relationship.

And so, they’d want to first be sure that you feel the same way before admitting that they are into you. Guys who ask if you love them because of this reason are ready to have a relationship with you but lack the know-how on sharing their feelings.

Why Does He Keep Asking If I Love Him

Wrapping Up: So, What Should You Do?

If you both are in a serious relationship and the consistent questions began in recent times, then I’d recommend you take that second to reassure him that you love him.

If you suspect that he asks simply because he wants to hear that from you, say what you feel at that moment because you really can’t tell what is inside someone’s heart. If the question becomes bothersome, then be open to asking him about it.

Once you can identify why he keeps asking the question, the problem is half-solved since both of you are now on the same page regarding his insecurities.

It looks like a cumbersome thing to understand men, love, and all the complexities that arise from men’s view of love versus women’s view of love.

When a guy keeps asking if you love him, it can be complicated and confusing to know why. But I hope you found this article helpful.

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