Stuttering is a speech fluency disorder that entails issues with the regular flow and fluency of speech. Basically, it’s when a person’s speech hitches or doesn’t flow as naturally.
Can be repetitive or have intermittent pausing. It can be a case of hereditary speech disorder or nervousness passed down, or just a circumstantial thing.
When a guy stutters around you, it can potentially indicate several things. And the reasons could be good or bad depending on who is involved or the situation.
Sometimes it’s excitement over something he’s pumped up to tell you about, it could be an attraction to you (the person he happens to be talking to), they’re scared or intimidated, or he was just born with it and that is his natural speech fluency level.
Let us look at some possible meanings of when a guy stutters around you, these could give you a clue on the subject matter.
5 Possible Meanings When A Guy Stutters Around You
He is excited
Stuttering can also be caused by excitement. If a guy is really pumped up about interacting with you or discussing a particular topic, or even wanting to thank you for a PS5 you got him (Get one today, for a guy near you!), he might stutter due to the jumbling up of thoughts and emotions he’s trying to express.
Have you ever been in that situation where you’re basically jumping around in joy for an achievement, a favor done, or a gift you really wanted, how you wanted to express your joy but tried saying too much too quickly and started getting tongue-tied on every sentence?
Or when you see something coming, like say a show that was advertised, a phone that just came out, a big sale for a much-needed item, there are a lot of things. That’s how it feels, yes.
That’s because they were very happy and there was too much trying to come out all at once and their tongues couldn’t keep up. Sometimes it’s pretty awesome and satisfying to watch.
He is intimidated
Stuttering might be a response to feeling intimidated. If the guy perceives you as stronger, more confident, intelligent, or experienced, he may struggle with his words as he tries to make a favorable impression or fears saying something wrong or jeopardizing your view of him in the first few moments after you both meet.
This is usually a way to show that they are not in their comfort zone with you. Almost any guy can relate to this; imagine a situation where you walk on the road passing by a gym and are trying to go to a certain destination.
Then a man the size of the couch but built like a tank comes running towards you and then he asks if you had by any chance seen his dog.
The level of alertness doesn’t always reach the tongue, anyone would be tongue-tied then.
He is insecure
Stuttering can stem from feelings of insecurity or a lack of self-confidence. A person who does not realize their own worth, it is only natural for them to stutter when they relate with other people, especially the ones they seek something from or are in a higher position than them.
The young man may be worried about making a mistake or saying something embarrassing, leading to speech difficulties.
No one wants to feel embarrassed, no one wants to bare the shame of making a joke that only they laugh at while everyone else looks at them like they’re an idiot.
So some guys would just be really quiet and when they have to speak or they are spoken to, they don’t want to be found inadequate or for others to know about their inadequacies. Usually, when they do get comfy, they have a lot to say, and most of it is pretty meaningful.
He is attracted to you
Well here’s a surprise (note the sarcasm), but this is already a popular opinion that you’d find in movies, TV shows, animation, and all over pop culture. Stuttering might just be an indicator to show that he likes you.
I mean, he “likes” you. It may be a subconscious reaction to his heightened emotions and the desire to make a positive impression.
Stuttering can sometimes be a sign of someone trying to appear more endearing or charming. And this mostly doesn’t happen on purpose. It just happens.
It is very cute sometimes but it can also be annoying. It depends on who the guy is, his personality. But being shy like that around one they want to befriend or want to get into deeper relationships with.
He has it as his communication style
It could just be how he speaks. It’s worth considering that stuttering could simply be part of the person’s natural speech pattern.
Some individuals have a tendency to stutter regardless of their feelings or the situation. In this case, it may not have a specific meaning related to you but rather reflect their unique way of speaking.
Some are born with this as it may be inherent to them. It doesn’t make them any less human but might simply take some work to hear them out.
Remember, these are just potential interpretations, and it’s essential to consider the context and the individual’s overall behavior to gain a better understanding of what might be going on.
9 ways you can deal with a stuttering boyfriend
There are several things you can do when you have a stuttering boyfriend. These things not only help to manage the situation but will also help to get past it as a barrier and make things go easier. Here are a few:
Be patient
Understand that stuttering is not exactly something he has any control over. Avoid finishing his sentences or interrupting him, as it may increase his anxiety and make the stutter worse.
And he might just shut down, get depressed or get mad, especially when you didn’t get what he wanted to say or he really wanted to say it himself. Give him the time he needs to express himself.
Allow him to say what he wants himself but just sit tight and smile at him patiently, he would probably love you much more for that.
Listen actively
This shows that you are really interested in what he has to say. Learn and use active listening skills to show him that you are not in a rush to hear him speak his mind.
Maintain eye contact and avoid distractions to demonstrate that you value what he is saying. Many times it will help him push on to say to you what he wants to while feeling comfortable and they will be glad that you are in it to understand him, regardless of his unique pattern of speech.
Avoid negative reactions
A lot of the time, even the slightest show of discontent with what he is saying or how they are saying it could make you lose them for a long time.
Respond to his stuttering in a positive and supportive manner. Keep calm and don’t be in a haste, try not to get frustrated — he would probably already be pretty frustrated with himself and how he can’t get things out as easily, adding to that would just make him clamp up — or to complete his sentences for him.
These reactions can make him feel self-conscious and increase his anxiety. Be calm for the both of you and let him air it out at his own pace. He will appreciate it.
Educate yourself
Search the web and read up on it. Do whatever you can to learn more about stuttering to better understand its causes, challenges, and treatment options.
This knowledge will help you make better, more informed decisions on how to better support and make your boyfriend feel understood.
If he knows that you are putting in the effort to know more about him, and even what he thinks of to be flaws, he will appreciate your love much more, and be happy to reciprocate all of it.
Focus on his strengths
Now this might be a no-brainer but it is true that if you want to love a person you have to see their best qualities. But you might not even need to see it for yourself only, but you need to show him as well.
Sometimes he might be too overwhelmed with frustration to see the things that make him special, and then it would be your job as his partner to show him those attributes you fell in love with and find potential in.
Encourage and praise his communication skills and other strengths. Help him recognize that his stutter does not define him as a person and that he has many other valuable qualities.
But be careful how you do this, you don’t want to sound like you’re consoling him for being given the short end of the stick due to his stuttering.
You want him to know you just want him to see how wonderful he is to you, stuttering or no stuttering, he still has many things that make him up as a person, many strengths that got him to that point.
Be a good listener
When he wants to talk about his experiences with stuttering, be an empathetic listener. Allow him to share his feelings, frustrations, or victories without judgment or trying to provide unsolicited advice.
He would appreciate a listener that is patient with him, not a nagger who just nitpicks at his words or invalidates his experiences and emotions.
Be supportive in social situations
In group settings or social events, like going out with friends, going out on dates, a sports event and what have you, make an effort to include him in conversations and provide opportunities for him to contribute comfortably.
Help others understand his stuttering by addressing any misconceptions or stereotypes that may arise.
Though society is getting more educated about such matters, many would still be ignorant and need to be better informed about how stuttering isn’t something to limit a person or any other stereotypical jargon.
Encourage therapy options
You might be a great partner and help, but you may not be a professional in the line of communication techniques.
So, if he is open to it, why not encourage him to seek therapy from a qualified speech-language pathologist who specializes in stuttering?
Therapy can provide him with techniques and strategies to manage his stuttering effectively. And this could be a big boost to his self-esteem since he would be better equipped to handle frustrating situations without you needing to step in as much.
Show love and acceptance
Ultimately, reassure him that his stuttering does not affect your feelings for him. Show love, acceptance, and appreciation for who he is as a person, regardless of his speech fluency.
He probably had that level of fluency when you first met, became friends, went on the first date, up to the present, so show him that you don’t mind his stuttering at all, but instead, you want him to be comfortable with it around you and anyone else.
Make him feel loved, not tolerated, and like you’re interested in him expressing himself to you fully, at his most comfortable, and not like you’re doing him a favor by letting him finish his sentences himself.
What should you not do when someone stutters?
When interacting with someone who stutters, it’s important to be understanding and supportive, and also to be patient. Here are some things you might want to avoid doing when someone stutters:
Interrupting or finishing their sentences
Interrupting a person who stutters or attempts to complete their sentences can make them feel rushed or looked down upon. In these cases, it’s important for one to be patient and allow them to express themselves at their own pace.
They need to let out their thoughts the way they want to and at their own pace, this helps them to want to communicate more because they feel like they’re going to be heard, taking that away from them could make you lose them.
Mocking or imitating their stutter
Mocking or making a caricature of a person’s stutter is hurtful, disrespectful, and just plain wrong. It can significantly damage their self-esteem and discourage them from engaging in conversations.
After all, who would want to open their mouths when every time they do, it is used to make the a laughingstock, the butt of the room’s jokes.
No one likes being embarrassed, so mostly they clam up and never speak to anyone else. Treat their stutter with empathy and understanding.
They don’t deserve to be mocked for something of a minor anxious reaction or a trait from birth.
Offering unsolicited advice or quick fixes
While your intentions may be good, giving unsolicited advice or suggesting quick fixes can come across as patronizing or dismissive.
If you are not an expert, regardless of the quick fix strategies you know, it would only make them feel like a problem and like you are not much interested in what they have to say in contrast to wanting to fix a defect in them.
Stuttering is a complex speech disorder that often requires professional intervention. If the person seeks advice or guidance, offer it supportively and recommend they consult a speech-language pathologist.
But remember, if you are not an expert, don’t give unsolicited advice. If they need any, recommendations to one more studied and informed on the matter, a practitioner, would be the best thing you can do for them.
Rushing or pressuring them to speak faster
For the record, you must never try to rush a person who stutters. It hardly ever ends well. Trying to rush a person who stutters or pressuring them to speak faster adds stress and anxiety to their speech, some could get into a full-on panic, and others would simply shut down.
Allow them the time they need to communicate without imposing time constraints or expectations. The more space they have to communicate, the better they’ll try to get out their thoughts.
Focusing excessively on their stutter
It’s important to treat the person beyond their stutter. Constantly drawing attention to their stutter or making it the main focus of the conversation can be uncomfortable and make them feel self-conscious.
Final Words
In general, stuttering can be frustrating for both the one who stutters and the ones who want to listen, but a person who stutters is not a problem or a liability.
Many of them actually have so much more to offer than some people see. When you look past the stuttering, they are also great people with awesome personalities and ideas.
There are a lot of reasons why a person stutters, but it is not something to make fun of, it is better to overlook it. Having a person who stutters naturally in your life will probably entail you being more informed about the disorder.
