This topic is touchy and quite controversial. So many people wonder if it is even right for a guy to ask about past relationships, however, that is not our focus for today.
We will look at why a guy asks about past relationships and it means when he asks about the other guys you have dated or the other relationships you have had.
It could be interesting, it could be for a friend, it could be to make fun. And what can you say when you are asked this question?
Let us take a look at some answers to these pressing questions below:
12 Possible Meanings When a Guy Asks About Your Past Relationships?
He is simply curious
The “he” in question might be a friend, and you have known each other for a long time. Maybe years of knowing each other, to where it is becoming comfortable to talk about more personal and intimate stuff with him.
Sharing secrets, experiences, heartbreaks and the bad side of your day becomes normal in such relationships where you no longer pretend to be your best self all the time.
He might just want to know because he knows you’ve been in relationships before, and to know why and how they ended.
“My friend has been in 3 relationships according to what she told me, so what were they like? I wonder why they broke up…”
He wants to know more about you
While he could be a friend, he could also be a near stranger that you might know a little, and this situation would be them trying to plaster themselves into your life and raise their relationship level with you.
What better way to do that than to share secrets, talk about the past, and especially the juicy, sometimes messy bits that would be regaled in the story of past relationships?
That being the case, they would want to get as much information as possible about that, with hopes that in the process of telling them of those old, maybe painful, memories, listening to it all would score them likability points.
He wants to know your type of guy
So here is Mister tall, dark, and handsome with all the qualities a girl would want in a guy. He then pulls up close to you and starts a conversation, you are laughing and then he turns serious and breaks the question; “What kind of guys have you been with?”
It would likely be since he could be a prospective boyfriend, he is inquisitive about you and he needs to know in the event that he would be the sort of fellow you’d be fascinated by.
What he is trying to say with this question is I really like you but I want to be sure that I am your type of guy.
He wants to know your preferences without asking directly
In this case, he is a close friend, but he happens to have a bit of a crush. He probably wants to know a lot more about your dating preferences, your likes, and dislikes in an intimate relationship with you, but he does not have a clue how to bring them up without being weird or seeming needy in a way that would gross you out or he could just be trying to set you up on a blind date.
So he asks about it through your dating history and preferences in behavior.
He wants to be in a relationship with you
Different people have different ways they go about things. It might be that he is attracted to you and he wants to start a relationship with you and doesn’t know how to go about it.
In that case, the best thing to do is to find out more about you in terms of your relationships. By doing that, he gets to know the kind of guys you were with before, what you like about them, what you don’t like about them, what you can tolerate, and what your deal breakers are.
What might just seem like recounting a few stories from your love life can be a whole manual or instruction guide about you and what to do to get you interested in him.
He has a friend that likes you
He may have a friend who happens to want something deeper with you and wants to be in an intimate relationship with you but does not want to ask about your previous relationships or preferences himself, being a stranger.
He wants to know what you like and what you prefer in a guy and a relationship. Like whether or not you like guys of a certain build or a certain character or things you would want a guy to do in a certain situation.
And so the guy would want to know either let his friend know or to know if you are ok for said friend.
He finds such a discussion interesting
People have different likes and dislikes and one thing he might just enjoy is knowing a lot about people’s past. It might be that he enjoys talking to people and that particular part of their lives – their past relationships – is his favorite.
He might have an interest in psychology and could be learning more about your past to see how it affects your present relationships or life in general.
Or, it can just be that he lives such stories and is willing to offer a listening earIn such cases he might seem overly eager to bring it up and appear gossipy or he might be calm and collected and not rush you into talking about things that may not appeal to you.
He finds certain tastes you have weird
There are certain tastes or habits that you have that can make people question certain things about you.
If he feels that your taste in music, clothes, or shoes is a bit off for your type of person or doesn’t align with the rest of your preferences he will begin to ask questions.
One of them will be about your past relationships. After all, spending a lot of time with a special someone can influence certain things about you.
He sees a toxic trait
Another reason why a guy can ask about your past relationships is that he probably sees a toxic trait in your and intends to understand where it stems from; maybe from a past relationship
It is possible to notice that a bit of toxicity might have crept into your life. If for example, you might start to treat others a certain way that you were treated.
You might shun people, or you might react in unusual ways. If a guy starts to question you in your past relationships, it might be because he feels you have gotten those traits from one or more of them and you need help.
He wants to know if the rumors are true
One of the ways to know the truth is to hear it from the horse’s mouth. He has probably decided that rather than believe whatever wild rumors or hearsays that are flying around he should speak to you and know what is true, what is exaggerated, and what is false.
It may not be the easiest or best conversation to start directly but it is a likely reason and this question is just a means to that end.
He wants to tease you
A situation where he asks that because he is trying to make a point to make fun of you or lightly tease you about something.
Like when you finish eating a pizza and leave the box on the couch and he asks playfully, “How did you date a guy?” or “Who was your last boyfriend?, I need to give him a medal… ” as a way to playfully say you can be a handful sometimes.
It can be playful like that or more hurtful like “How long did a human date you?” “What kind of relationship did you have with your partners to act this way?”
He has certain insecurities
There are many worries that many guys would have when getting into a new relationship. One of the most common ones is comparing themselves with the past guys in the partner’s life, and how they stand in certain respects compared to the other guys.
It is a matter of ego and pride and the pride of most men is to be the best one so far for anyone they get into any relationship with.
That makes it a competition of sorts for most guys in a relationship sometimes even asking at intimate moments how they compare to their predecessors, and then acting to level up and go beyond what standards the previous ones set.
Some girls even use this as bait or a bargaining chip to incense their partners to outperform someone they met much earlier, which might lead to many issues later on.
What To Say When A Guy Asks About Your Past Relationships
Depending on who is asking, why they are asking, and the type of relationships you had before, there are a variety of replies.
4 things to say when a stranger asks about your past relationship
You might have struck up a conversation with a stranger and it might go up and down from one topic to another till it goes around to that area of your love life. If you are not keen on talking about it, why don’t you say something like:
- I’m not comfortable discussing my past relationships with someone I just met.
- Let’s not bother about that. I am not ready to divulge details of my past with anyone just yet.
- On the other, if it is someone you are willing to speak to and get to know better you can say:
- I’m happy to share my past with you once I know you better, but for now, let’s just enjoy getting to know each other.
4 things to say when a crush asks about your past relationship
If it is someone you are attracted to who you are interested in, you can be more lenient and use any of these replies.
You might not want to say anything about your past relationships but these replies are flirty and vague and will shift the focus if the answer to the question:
- I prefer to keep my past relationships private, but I’m happy to focus on getting to know each other better
- I’ve had my share of ups and downs when it comes to love, but I’m feeling positive about our future together
- I don’t like to dwell on the past, and I’d rather focus on our current connection
- I’ve been single for a while, and I’m ready to move forward with someone who is looking for a long-term commitment
2 things to say when a friend asks about your past relationships
Your friends, whether mere friends or people in the inner circle, will get a friendlier answer than a stranger. You can use any of the following:
- I learned a lot from my past relationships, but they weren’t for the long term.
- My past relationships have taught me a lot about myself, and I’m glad to have grown from those experiences
6 things to say when a partner asks about your past relationships
If it is your partner or someone you are currently in a relationship with it, then you can decide to tell them or leave it be.
Sometimes, it’s better if they know little to nothing about your best. These replies are also very heartwarming and will take the conversation in a new direction:
- I’ve had a few relationships in the past, but I think it’s more important to focus on the present and our future together.
- I prefer not to talk about my past love life because it’s not relevant to our current relationship.
- I’ve had experiences that have made me more cautious about being in a relationship, but I’m willing to take the risk with you.
- I don’t want to dwell on my past relationships because they’re over now, and I’m more interested in building something with you in the present.
- I have had some great relationships before, but I’m looking forward to building something even greater with you
- My past relationships have helped me to figure out what I’m looking for in a partner, and I see a lot of those qualities in you.
Wrap Up
As you can see now, there are many different reasons a guy can ask a girl about relationships of the past, and depending on who asks and how it was asked, there are also many ways to respond to that question.
I think such a question being good or not depends on the people involved. If the one being asked is not ok with it, the topic should be dropped.
If it is fine with them, then it should be discussed with reassurance that it does not affect the current status quo.
