There’s a popular idea that when a guy asks a girl out for a drink (and not a proper dinner date), it means he’s cheap or has sketchy intentions. That’s not always true.
If a guy wants to drink with you, it can mean many things. First, you have to consider the kind of relationship you have with him and then the advancements he has been making up until the moment he offered to have a drink with you
I prefer to ask a lady for a proper dinner on a first date and am happy to pay for it. But, in my experience, I realized that most of the women that I meet online prefer to complete for the first time for drinks (sometimes coffee)
I realize that it’s not just to save money but also to have more options if there’s no mutual interest or worse.
I have prepared this article to walk you through the four most common intentions guys usually have when they want to drink with you. As a bonus, you will learn the best ways to respond.
4 Possible Meanings For When A Guy Wants To Drink With You
You’re right to think there’s more than meets the eye when a guy wants to drink with you. Now, you want to be clear about his intentions before accepting or declining.
The good news is that there are signals to look out for that will spell out his aim by asking you out for a drink. Here are the most common meanings:
- He’s romantically interested in you
- He wants to know you better for a genuine friendship
- He’s testing the waters to gauge mutual interest
- He’s simply trying to network and build connections
He’s romantically interested in you
One of the most common reasons a guy might ask you out for a drink is because he is romantically interested in you.
He may find you attractive, enjoy your company, or feel a connection, and he wants to spend more time getting to know you in a relaxed and casual setting.
This type of invitation often implies a desire to explore the potential for a romantic relationship.
At this point, it is easy to conclude that he intends to get laid. While that is an absolute possibility, I recommend you approach this conclusion cautiously and not make assumptions about someone’s intentions solely based on their invitation.
Jumping to conclusions or generalizing based on stereotypes can be unfair and inaccurate.
He wants to know you better for a genuine friendship
Another reason a guy wants to drink with you could be that he genuinely enjoys your company and wants to build friendships.
Asking you out for a drink could allow you both to spend more time together and develop a deeper connection outside of your regular social interactions.
In this case, the invitation is more focused on building a meaningful friendship rather than pursuing a romantic relationship.
I have witnessed this turnout in my office, where my colleague will ask a female staff out for a drink at the bar down the street during short breaks. It’s simply to catch up and talk about fun things outside the work environment.
So consider the kind of relationship you have with this guy. He might just have asked you for a drink to chat, and nothing more profound than that.
He’s testing the waters to gauge mutual interest
A guy can ask for a drink with you when he’s unsure of how you feel about him and wants to gauge mutual interest before advancing.
He knows a drink or coffee date is less expensive than fine dining. So if the date ended favorably, there’d be no expenses to brood over, and you both can move on.
In this scenario, the guy may want to spend some time together in a relaxed and casual setting to see if there is potential for a deeper connection.
By going out for a drink, the guy can observe how well you interact and engage in conversation as you get to know each other better. It gives both of you a more informal and laid-back environment to assess your compatibility and chemistry.
This is most likely the situation if you both are meeting physically for the first time or just getting to know each other.
You will notice that during the meeting, the guy may pay attention to various aspects, such as shared interests, values, humor, and communication style, to evaluate if there is a strong connection or potential for a relationship.
This approach allows him to gather more information about you and assess their compatibility on a personal level.
He’s simply trying to network and build connections
Going for drinks with someone is one of the ways to network and establish a professional connection. This may be the simple reason behind him wanting to drink with you.
Sometimes, a guy may ask a girl for a drink to establish or strengthen a professional connection. It could be in a business context, where he sees potential for collaboration, mentorship, or career development.
Alternatively, it could be in a networking setting where he wants to expand his professional contacts and believes you have valuable insights or connections to offer.
So offering to do this over drinks presents an opportunity to relax, have fun, and enjoy each other’s company without any specific romantic motives.
This type of invitation is often driven by a desire to foster a friendly and social atmosphere. So you can expect your colleague, friends, and acquaintances to have this intention in mind when they ask you out for a drink.
Remember that these reasons are not mutually exclusive, and the guy may have a combination of motivations when asking you for a drink.
The specific context, prior relationship, and individual personalities can ultimately influence the underlying reasons behind his request.
How Do You Answer When He Invites You For A Drink?
When responding to an invitation for a drink, your reply will ultimately depend on your interest and availability. You want to react honestly and respectfully while considering your preferences, schedule, and the nature of your relationship with the guy.
So the best response goes in two ways: whether you want to say “yes” or “No.” Here are my suggestions:
If you want to accept the offer:
1. Accept enthusiastically
One of the best ways to respond to a guy asking you out for a drink is to express enthusiasm while accepting the offer. For example:
Guy: Hey, are you down for a drink this evening?
You: Absolutely! I’d love to grab a drink with you. It sounds like an excellent opportunity to catch up and have a good time.
2. Show appreciation and accept
Guy: I want to ask you out for a drink, Theresa.
You: Thank you for the invitation. I’m happy to go out for a drink with you. Hit me with the time and place and you’ll see me there
3. Confirm availability and agree
Guy: I want us to drink; what do you say?
You: I’m free tonight, so I’d happily drink with you. Where and when would you like to meet?
4. Express interest and accept
Guy: There’s a coffee shop downtown. We should have a drink tomorrow. What do you say?
You: That sounds like a beautiful idea. I’d enjoy having a drink with you. Count me in!”
If you want to decline the offer:
5. Polite decline
Guy: Hey, are you down for a drink this evening?
You: Thank you for the invitation, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to join you for a drink. I have some prior commitments.
6. Suggest an alternative
Guy: Hey, are you down for a drink this evening?
You: I appreciate the offer, but I can’t make it for a drink. However, I’d happily meet for lunch or coffee another time.
7. Be honest about your reasons
Guy: Hey, are you down for a drink this evening?
You: I’m sorry, but I’ve been feeling under the weather lately, so I think it’s best to rest and take care of myself instead of going out for a drink.
8. Express gratitude but declined
Guy: Hey, are you down for a drink this evening?
You: That’s very kind of you to invite me, but I must decline now. I have some personal projects I need to focus on tonight.
Parting thoughts
It’s prevalent for guys to ask ladies for a drink. When this happens to you, it is natural to be confused about his intentions by offering such a gesture.
Expect this kind of offer when you both are meeting for the first time or getting to know each other. He may have chosen a drink over proper dinner so that when you both quickly find nothing in common, you just part and go your separate ways.
In many situations, the guy is interested in you. He has asked you out for a drink to know more about you and spend time with you. But at the same time, he’s testing the water.
If there is a spark in the drink date, he will most likely ask you for a proper dinner date next time. Ultimately, trust your instinct.
