If you’ve recently been on dates with your crush, you must be feeling excited. However, he hasn’t made any moves, just a few dates. You’re not sure of what’s going on between you two, and then he says he’s picky.
This statement is surely a rollercoaster, and suddenly you’re confused about what he means. Doesn’t he like you enough? Is he taking his time, or does it mean you’re his choice?
And what if it’s a friend, a colleague, or your brother that says he’s picky? What does it mean when a guy says he’s picky?
In this article, I’ll discuss some possible meanings when a guy says he’s picky and if it’s bad to be picky when dating.
Also, I’ll help you figure out how to deal with a picky friend and how to know when someone is picky.
In the end, you’ll know how picky you should be about a romantic partner.
5 Possible Meanings When a Guy Says He Is Picky
There are lots of things it means when a guy says he’s picky. First, it isn’t a bad thing to be picky, and both males and females are allowed to be selective about who they want to be with.
So, when a guy says he’s picky, it could mean he’s being careful in choosing his partner, and he values himself. Also, he may just be plain arrogant or difficult to please, or he doesn’t know what he wants.
Below, I’ll discuss 5 possible things it means when a guy says he’s picky.
He Is Being Careful and Selective About Who to Date
One of the things it means when a guy says he’s picky is that he’s being careful and selective about who to date.
As I’ve established earlier, it isn’t a bad thing to be selective about who to be with or about what you want in life. It shows you know what you want and are aiming for it.
So, when a guy says he’s picky, it means he wouldn’t just date anyone. He knows the kind of lady he wants, so he’s being careful before going for her.
Perhaps, you two have been hanging out a lot, and when he tells you he’s picky, it could mean he was very careful before coming for you.
So, a guy who says he’s picky is only being careful and selective about the woman he chooses to be with.
He Values Himself
Another thing it means when a guy says he’s picky is that he knows his worth and values himself. Being picky shows you appreciate yourself and wouldn’t just settle.
So, when a guy says he’s picky, he may be speaking from the angle that he values and appreciates himself.
This quality is a good thing because it shows he wouldn’t just be desperate and go for any girl he meets.
He Is Difficult to Please
Another thing it means when a guy says he’s picky is that he’s difficult to please. Usually, people who are selective about who they should date will be difficult to please because they’ve got the kind of person they want in their minds.
So, when they meet people who don’t meet those standards, they show no interest, no matter the effort the person puts in.
So, a guy who tells you he’s picky is only telling you that he’s difficult to please. He’s telling you he won’t settle for anyone.
If you two have been going on dates, he could tell you that to warn you that it may be difficult to please him.
He Doesn’t Know What He Wants
Another thing it means when a guy says he’s picky is that he doesn’t know what he wants. Yes, it’s okay to not settle, but someone who says they’re picky might just be saying so because they’re yet to know what they want.
If he’s a guy you’ve been seeing for some time and he tells you he is picky, it could be that he doesn’t know what he wants for a partner.
Look at it this way; he has been going out with you, naturally, you’d think he likes you, but he isn’t showing signs he wants to take it to another level and then he says he’s picky.
In this case, It’s okay to say he doesn’t know what he wants yet, so he’s likely hanging out with you to test the waters.
He Is Arrogant
A guy who says he’s picky may just be plain arrogant. It could be he feels many girls are not in his class, and says he’s picky to cover up.
Or he’s just too picky because he sees himself as a mighty person that wouldn’t settle for just anyone. So, while it is good to be picky, a guy who says he’s selective may just be speaking from a high horse.
This kind of person may be going out with a lot of girls, sleeping with them but wouldn’t want to be in a serious relationship with them and might show a domineering attitude.
These are the kind of people you should avoid.
Is It Bad to Be Picky When Dating?
No, it isn’t bad to be picky when dating. Having a choice in what you want is good. As an adult, you should be able to make decisions by yourself.
So, being picky is a good thing and not a bad thing. What is worrisome and should be your concern is being too picky or picky about superficial things when dating.
For instance, when you want your woman or man to have a kind of face or a kind of body. And when you meet someone with everything that you want but because they don’t have that kind of body, you decide you haven’t met the one yet.
Below I’ll explain why it isn’t bad to be picky when dating:
It Shows You know Your Worth and What You Want
Being selective about who you date shows you know your worth and what you want. And since you know your worth and what you want, you wouldn’t settle for anyone you come across.
This is not arrogance, but loving and appreciating yourself.
You Have to Consider a Long Term Commitment
It’s good to be picky when dating for a long-term commitment. If you are ready for marriage, then you should be selective about who you date.
Remember, this is someone you intend to spend the rest of your life with, so you don’t only have to consider the moment. So, when dating, check if they’re someone you can spend the rest of your life with.
Small Things You Overlook May Be a Concern Later on
Small things you think you can overlook when choosing a partner may become a problem later on. If you’re just on a fling or no strings attached relationship, you may not consider these small things.
But, if you are looking for a life partner, then you ought to be picky about who you date. If small things about them irritate you a lot, it’s something you should consider, because these small things are usually what build up into a catastrophe later on.
How Do I Deal with a Picky Friend?
If you have a picky friend you may worry, especially if they’re yet to meet the person they claim they want or make a decision about something.
But you don’t have to worry because it isn’t a bad thing, you only need to understand where they’re coming from and respect their decision.
Also, you can talk to them about it if you think they’re too picky.
Here are some of the ways you can deal with a picky friend:
Understand Their Perspective
You need to understand the perspective of your friend who’s picky. Understanding where they’re coming from will help you deal with and live with them.
First, as I’ve stated earlier, it’s okay to be selective about who you date and what you want. So, you’ve got to understand when your friend shows signs that they’re picky.
Also, they could be coming from a place of hurt. They’ve probably been hurt in their previous relationship, so if they become selective, then they’re on the right track.
Also, what are they picky about? Check if it’s something you should worry about or something you should respect.
So, you’ve got to understand their perspective before you know if you should support them or show concern.
Respect Their Decision
Another good way to deal with a picky friend is to respect their decision. One of the reasons we have friends is not to help them make decisions but to respect and support theirs.
So, if your friend is picky for all the right reasons, you’ve got to respect their decision.
Even if you’ve something that worries you, the only thing you may have to do is to respect their decision because not doing so may bring problems.
Talk to Them About It
If you think your friend is too picky or picky over trivial things, you can talk to them about it.
Being too picky isn’t a good thing. This kind of person will keep saying “no” about a lot of things and about who they allow into their lives.
Also, someone who’s selective over frivolous things hardly knows what they want or they may be too proud.
So, you should talk to your friend and help them see the important things they should be selective about. If you think they’re arrogant, talk to them politely and find ways to help them see people and the world better.
How Do You Know a Picky Person?
There are peculiar qualities a picky person will display which will be hard to miss.
Someone difficult to please, who loses interest too fast, and who hasn’t had something serious going on for a while is picky.
Also, someone who is too judgemental is likely to be selective.
Below are some of the ways to know a picky person:
They Are Difficult to Please
If you want to know a picky person, check if they’re easily satisfied with what people do or with what they get. Someone picky will be difficult to please.
Do they always find wrong in someone? Do they always complain about things, even little things? Are they hard on their rules?
If you notice these characters in someone, then they’re difficult to please and are very selective. They’ve probably narrowed and penned down what they want, so it’ll be difficult to be okay with someone who doesn’t meet what they’ve penned down.
They Lose Interest too Fast
Another way to know a picky person is if they lose interest so quickly. Maybe you’ve succeeded in convincing them to go out with someone, and you’re already counting your success, but then they’re running back after a few dates.
Or perhaps they complain about little things after meeting someone a few times. These kinds of people are picky.
They Haven’t Had Something Serious in a Long Time
Another way to know a picky person is if they haven’t had something serious in a long time.
They might have gone on a few dates, but if they haven’t been in something close to serious in a long time, then you’ve likely got a selective person.
However, not having been in something serious is not always a criterion that they’re picky. They could decide to remain single to focus on themselves, or they might have just been meeting the wrong people.
So, it’s quite difficult to conclude with this. However, you can always ask them and know their reasons for being that way. And if their reasons seem ridiculous, then they’re likely picky.
They Are Judgemental
If this person is quick to conclude about someone without meeting them, they’re likely picky.
Do they make assumptions quickly? Do they always interpret things in the way it suits them? Do they listen to people?
How Picky Should You Be About a Romantic Partner?
When choosing a romantic partner, it’s good to be picky, but it’s also good to know where to draw the line so you don’t become too picky.
Where do you draw this line? How picky should you be about a romantic partner?
First, if you’re considering a long-term relationship like marriage then you should be picky about your romantic partner. You should consider if you share the same goals, and consider their religious and political beliefs.
Also, check if they feel the same way about marriage and their feelings about kids. What do they think about your career? These are areas where you should be selective about a life partner.
However, if you are up for just a fling, then you don’t necessarily have to be picky about these serious things. You may decide you don’t want someone promiscuous, and that’s okay.
Conclusion
Being picky isn’t a bad thing. It’s right to be selective when making important decisions, including who you should date.
When a guy says he’s picky, it shows he’s being careful in taking a partner and that he appreciates himself. However, it could be that he’s arrogant and doesn’t know what he wants or is difficult to please.
If you’ve got a picky friend, it’s right you understand their perspective and respect their decision. However, if they’re too picky you should talk to them about it.
