Humans are very complex and sometimes the simplest things they do or say can have multiple meanings. For example, if a guy asks you if you find him attractive, it could mean anything.
First of all, guys are not the kind of people to go about asking questions like this so whatever reason they asked must be understood.
It could mean he is interested in you and wants to know how you feel about him too, or it could be that he is just curious and what’s to know what people think of him.
Regardless of what it means, you have to respond in some way. In this article, I have covered all the possible meanings of when a guy asks if you find him attractive and the different ways to respond according to those meanings.
4 Possible Meanings When a Guy Asks if You Find Him Attractive
He is interested in you and is looking for some confirmation that you find him attractive as well.
Think of it as a way to evaluate your feelings. In this case, it will not be what you say, whether or not he is attractive, but how you say whatever you want to say.
For example, if you respond nonchalantly, he will know that you are not interested in him and he will try to get your attention or just move on.
He may be insecure and seeking validation from you.
This is mostly between friends. A guy would never ask another guy if he is attractive but he can ask his female friends, particularly the ones that are close to him.
He is probably asking because he is worried about his looks. Maybe he feels he is fat or doesn’t have that charm to him or anything.
In this case, your opinion or validation will be a boost to him and might be just what he needs to get over his insecurities
He may be testing your interest in him
By asking if you find him attractive, he may be trying to gauge your level of attraction to him and determine if you are open to the idea of dating him.
He might feel that you are not too bad yourself and is willing to date you too. Asking you if you find him attractive is also another way to get a preview of your answer on a relationship.
If you don’t find him attractive, he will know that you are not that attracted to him and are more likely to turn him down if he asks you out.
He may be simply curious.
Sometimes people ask questions without a deeper meaning, and this could be one of those situations. He may be genuinely curious about your opinion of him and just want to know how you perceive him.
This question won’t be asked when you two are alone. It’s the kind of thing that is done in cliques and is taken good-naturedly by everyone.
How to respond when a guy asks if you find him attractive
Now that you understand why a guy might ask if you find him attractive, here are some responses you give to him based on the different reasons he asked.
While picking any of these replies be sure to note how you feel about him too and how your reaction will affect his actions.
You can flirt with him a bit to determine his level of curiosity
He is probably asking this so he can know more about you but in a way that isn’t obvious. Besides, a very confident person won’t need your opinion to determine how looks or how he sees himself.
In a situation like this, flirting with him is a safe way to get along and get to know exactly what he is curious about and just how curious he is.
For example, after asking if you find him attractive, he can ask what exactly you find attractive, or what you like and dislike about him.
From your replies, he will know what you think about him aside from his looks and he will understand how you perceive things.
If you don’t want to give so much away, flirting with him can distract him and give vague answers. If he wants direct answers maybe he should ask you directly, and not under a guise.
Here are some examples:
- “Why are you asking me? Is that what cute guys do to show their interest in girls? It’s a sleek move and it must work for you every time”.
- “Why do you want to know? Are you trying to get me to boost your ego and test if I have a secret crush on you?”
You can show interest in him too by asking probing questions
If he is just asking to get your opinion, you can ask probing questions to let him know that you have an interest in him.
He may not realize that you are attracted to him and just ask that question innocently, out of insecurity. Questions like:
- “Why would you want my opinion? Have you noticed anything special about me or did anyone tell you anything?
- “Do you think I am attractive? What’s your definition of an attractive woman? Do you like my personality”.
These questions and more like these should probe enough to convey how you feel to an extent.
You can just appreciate his thoughts/opinions of you and move on.
In most cases, guys that would ask if you find them attractive would also tell you that they find you attractive or give you a few compliments to hint at that.
However, in the case where you don’t want to get any further involved with the guy in question, and not seem rude or appear like you are shutting the doors for further talks in the future, you can say:
- “I am flattered that you want my opinion. I actually think you are very physically attractive but you might have to work on some areas”.
- “Thank you for the compliments. It’s really kind of you and I think you are very cute”.
Or you could just smile and nod to let him know you have acknowledged his advances but would not like to go any further for the time being.
You can ask him questions about his looks and appearance
If he is the kind of person that likes to speak of himself a lot you can get him going by asking him questions on his looks.
For example:
- I noticed you never cargo pants. Do you have something against them? Are they not comfortable for you?
- What inspires your sense of style? Do you like to keep up with fashion trends?
And if you just want to get to know him better you can also use this approach. You can start from his looks and appearance and work way deeper into a conversation that is away from that uncomfortable subject to something both of you can agree on and converse on.
You can display a little bit of anger and quirkiness
Sometimes such a question could be asked disrespectfully or you are simply not comfortable with speaking of such things.
It might even be a case of a stranger barging into your conversation with another person to ask you a question that does not in any way concern you.
In such a case, you have to show your discomfort and let them know that you do not appreciate their intrusion and their disruption of your activities for trivial matters.
You could let them know you are uncomfortable with the question or that you don’t like that they disturbed your tasks or activities. You could then decide whether or not to indulge them with the question. Here are examples:
- I am not comfortable with your questions. Can you please go ask someone else? You should know that it is inappropriate.
- What is my business with how attractive you are? If you are looking for a way to boost your ego, go somewhere else.
- I can’t believe you interrupted my conversation with something as flimsy as you. Come back when you have more important things to discuss.
You can return the favor too
You could return the question playfully, switch the focus of attention from you to him and ask him his thoughts on your attractiveness.
You can say:
- “What do YOU think about me? I have always wanted to get your opinion on me too, so tell me how you feel”.
- “Do I look fat to you? Am I your type of girl? What do you like about me?”
After answering him or giving him your thoughts on his attractive features, you could just ask him about yours to keep the conversation going and maybe to be a little flirtatious. A little flirting never hurt anyone, did it?
You can tell him off and move on
If this question or the conversation as a whole is something that you are uncomfortable with then you can tell them off.
Everyone has different body types and talking about them might hurt his feelings, especially if it is not what he wants to hear. It would be best for everyone to end the conversation before it even starts and send him on his way.
You can also give him a speech to encourage him. If he comes to you looking like the world is crumbling around him, you can tell him to stop worrying about other people’s opinions and be happy with who is and how he looks.
It will do him a deal of good than analyzing his enter physique. Here are some ways to say this:
- First, I don’t think it is right to live your life but other people’s opinions. People will always talk so you and barely know the real you, so you should be self-confident.
- What I or other people think are the versions of you that you allow us to see. And on how attractive you are, I think you are a dynamite but if you don’t believe it, it doesn’t matter.
You can be honest with him
If the reason he is asking is that he is attracted to you and he is trying to start a relationship then you can start by telling him that although you find him attractive you are not interested in a relationship.
You can also tell him that you are interested if you are willing to start something with him. If he is asking for reasons other than a relationship or gauging your attraction, you can be honest with him.
For example, you can tell him how you perceive him – his character, his personality, his qualities, and so on. Here’s how to say it:
- I think you should be more open and direct. I know you are just asking that question to know how I feel about it and I think you are a super amazing guy.
- Let’s cut to the chase. You are a great guy but I am just attracted to you. I’m sorry.
Wrap Up
It’s one thing to be asked, it’s another to respond. With the range of responses be sure that whichever you go for is what you want for the both of you.
Also, remember to be honest and to have fun. If you feel uncomfortable, spell it out. How you feel is important. All said and done cheers!
